Over the summer, my dad and I signed up for the popular runDisney Dopey Challenge. For those who might be unfamiliar with this challenge and what it entails, here’s a quick summary:

• Thursday, January 6th: 5k

• Friday, January 7th: 10k

• Saturday, January 8th: Half Marathon

• Sunday, January 9th: Marathon

Yes, it is all four of those races consecutively. I’ve run a few marathons before but the idea of consecutively running a half marathon and marathon seemed foreign to my body. The training plan I began using was Jeff Gallaway’s on the runDisney website. What I liked about this plan was that it had cross-training for every other week, this would help me still have some sort of life amidst training for six months. Prior to training, I found another plan – Hal Higdon’s which was a bit shorter. I remembered how long training plans became harder for me to follow so I decided to create an abbreviated version of this one. At the start, I was also doing an endurance strength program that was 16-weeks. Trying to balance these two did not last long and in October, I decided to put the strength training to a pause as I finished the distances that this challenge would entail. This was probably one of the best ideas I had – I don’t know how or why I thought balancing both would be realistic.

It has surely been a journey navigating through the past few months of this plan. I write this after the hardest week of the whole program – a consecutive five-day run with the following mileages: 2.5m, 5m, 7m, 10m, and 20m. Prior to this week, most of my runs weren’t bad. I was able to finish them feeling strong which is an indicator of my body and mind being alined on the task at hand. The 20 was hard, I began hitting the wall right after mile 13 but after mile 16, I got my legs back! This was exactly what I needed to end the hardest part of the training plan. A reminder of why I love running, how it encompasses all the human experience has to offer. These long runs have taught me so much about myself – what is the hardest thing for me about running, why I chose to take it on, and how it really does teach me so much about life.

I hopped on a plane home for the holidays after my 20-miler recognizing that running had truly become one of my passions. It might have begun as an attempt to accomplish goals and chase the ‘runner’s high’ that came after crossing finish lines but now it was about the flow state during the runs and how good it truly felt to get out there, even on the hardest days. In a previous piece, I had written about how imposter syndrome almost ended my running career and there are still hints of that scattered throughout my story. But I have never felt more in line with the belief that I am a runner and it was confirmed when after my recovery run the Tuesday after the 20-miler, it felt like days had gone by without running.

As the Omricon variant and the winter season has brought about a new spike in Covid cases and the uncertainty that comes with the occurrence of these races and our trip, I find solace in the journey that I’ve taken to get to this alignment of my passion as part of my identity. Yet it doesn’t make the disappointment that comes with coming to terms with this cancellation or possible withdrawal any easier. In Atlas of the Heart, I read about the experience of discomfort occurring when things don’t go as planned or they are out of our control. It can lead to not only discomfort but also shame when one feels silly for allowing themselves to get fully excited about the occurrence that is now ending in disappointment. It is a common belief that if we lower our expectations and prevent ourselves from getting our expectations up, then we will never experience disappointment. While I’ve accomplished physical feats that I never thought were possible over the course of this training plan, what’s been possibly the greatest lesson is that of knowing that there is no way to plan myself away from disappointment.

Sources:

Brown Brené. (2021). Atlas of the heart: Mapping meaningful connection and the language of human experience. Vermilion.