Queen Elizabeth II was crowned Queen of England after the tragic passing of her father, King George VI on February 6, 1952 at age twenty-seven (This Day in History). If you’ve binge watched the Crown like me then you know how they depicted her stepping into her power not as a choice but obligation. While Queen Elizabeth II may not have had a choice in claiming her own power, I have decided that today, on my twenty-fifth birthday, I am choosing to step into my power. Now, I know it’s a bit of a stretch to compare myself to the Queen of England but if you know my childhood obsession with royalty, you’ll probably think this makes sense.

Why do I care about stepping into my power?

To shatter the glass ceiling!! Not kidding actually, I chose business as a kid because I wanted to venture in a profession where I had the opportunity to excel and bridge the wage gap between women and men. My first and only tattoo is actually a crown to signify the aspiration I held prior to commencing my first full-time job. I actually chose my current employer because of the Advancing Women’s Executives Lunch that the women interviewees were invited to. They discussed what they do to ensure that there was high prevalence of women executives within the organization, including a workshop on not apologizing for simple things like delay in responding to an email, starting a meeting late, making an error, etc. I was determine to never give away power as women do far too often.

Why am choosing to step into my power now, two plus years after I had set the intention to?

Professionally, I started off strong but ended up falling victim to my difficulty saying no and ended up becoming burnt out. Personally, I was so overbooked and overwhelmed that it was an accomplishment to get out of bed every morning. My zest for life had been diminished and the external situations that would bring me happiness were temporary moments filled with instant gratification.

What does stepping into my power mean to me?

When I started my blog, I used the powerful metaphor from Glennon Doyle’s novel Untamed to show my desire to take back control of my life (The Written Word). Fast forward to now, as I commence my 25th year, I view tapping into my power not as an accomplishment but as an acknowledgement for the progress I’ve made.  The past few years, my birthday has been one of the hardest days for reasons I couldn’t wrap my fingers on. It had become an inside joke between me and a dear friend that was it even your birthday if you didn’t cry?! What didn’t make sense was how much I’m able to celebrate and feel joy for others on their special day, yet this double standard applied to me for the following reasons that were inspired by limiting beliefs -

• I AM NOT WORTHY

  It was overwhelming for me to try to coordinate something that was supposed to be for me but I was naturally still thinking of others - Would they enjoy it? Who would this person sit next to?

• I AM NOT VALID IN MY DESIRES

  It was challenging to balance my desire for an experience with my friends because experiences can’t always be in big groups aka submission to societal standards

• I AM NOT DESERVING

  And most importantly, it was a battle of my self-worth not thinking that I deserved one. Having a mid-January birthday comes right after the holiday season of celebration and indulgence. Growing up this was the best thing ever because it felt like a continuation of that but as I got older and as people began to have more and more responsibilities, I realized that I fell into this trap of setting goals and wanting certain things that made it challenging to take a day off and be celebrated.

Why am I sharing these?

I share these limiting beliefs as my closure and parting with them because I’ve realized that it will only continue to metastasize if I choose to allow them to dictate the enjoyment I experience from life. The power of affirmations have allowed me to recognize the impact positive self belief can have on shifting the narrative from our past self. It’s challenging our identification of self with the separation of the pain-body but it’s worth overcoming to experience the beauty of life in the present (The Power of Now). By changing my narrative and choosing to put forth the intentions rather than falling victim to those that were patterns in my past. And with that, I set aside the guilt, external validation, self-awareness, and worth on work to not only celebrate my day but also live my word of this year.

This year my word is Wholeheartedness, living my life 100% from my heart. I write this post as a birthday gift to myself because what matters most is what I choose to narrate of myself. Starting today, I will live with full intentionality to uphold my values and live them, in addition, to not being afraid to be my true self in worry that it will dull the sparkle of others. I’ll end with one of my favorite quotes from Gifts of Imperfection, the book that inspired my word for this year - “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” To all the self-aware people who struggle on their birthday, I promise you it’s worth leaning into and enjoying because just being alive is truly a matter for celebrating.

I AM WORTHY

I AM VALID IN MY DESIRES

I AM DESERVING

Sources:

Brown, Brene. The Gifts of Imperfection. Random House, 2020.

Doyle, Glennon. Untamed. Vermilion, 2020.

“King George VI Dies.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 24 Nov. 2009, www.history.com/this-day-in-history/elizabeth-becomes-queen.

Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: a Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Hachette Australia, 2018.