Values - Love and Gratitude for My Parents
“The greatest burden a child must bear is the un-lived life of its parents.”
This quote came from Carl Jung, the famed Swiss psychologist. It was this “burden” which was passed on to first and semi-second generation children like myself. The financial instability that our parents faced is what led them to want us to be able to feel fiscally secure. Naturally, ‘Tier A Professions’ (i.e. doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc.) were encouraged from a young age; whereas professions in connection to liberal arts were out of the question due to the ‘struggle’ they entailed. I knew that I wasn’t a ‘Tier A’ student so I chose a ‘Tier B’ category: business. As a business major, choosing a specific concentration was challenging. I knew that Management, the first major I had chosen upon beginning at LMU, was the best for not only my skill set but also my areas of interest. After polling family members, I came to the decision of Finance to stay away from the bore of Accounting and be overqualified if were to choose Management positions post grad. By no means does your major lock you in, but the first job you choose is a dotted line of a box that you get put into. This dotted line darkens with the time you continue to spend in this role since experience speaks the most volume when looking for another position.
It wasn’t until this year, that I realized that my choice wasn’t due to my parents forcing me or any obligations I had towards them. They had always supported me in my endeavors, from competitive dance to minoring in English. I had wanted to take on the major to be able to prove to not just them, nor others, but to myself that I’m able to succeed in a ‘challenging’ business field. This thirst to prove myself results from the values I was raised with. One of many instrumental pillars towards the entity that is, yours truly.
When I was in my rut, I felt constant feelings of “this isn’t like me.” I remember even questioning if the part of me I was still holding onto was just a past rendition. This was testament of me knowing myself the most and not allowing myself to experience shame from my behaviors. This allowed me to be able to separate myself from my feelings, actions, and current state of life to take back ownership of my life.
I realize now that what I’ve experienced over these past few months isn’t as much of a change as it seems; I always had these values but now was realigning myself to my own core beliefs and recognizing that having a voice is a privilege, and should be shared for the betterment of others, which could only be done if I am able to work on myself further.
My values have allowed me to recognize the importance of curiosity. Being on the constant quest for knowledge, I recognize it’s impact to empower and give validity to an individual’s claims. The capability of education’s impact is so vast for those who are in our developmental years (twenty somethings, we aren’t exempt: the final major growth spurt occurs in your early-mid 20s) (The Defining Decade). If we are able to shift the focus away from the system of grades, competition, and standardized tests then we can obtain learning, passion, and early professional success.
The unique qualities of how one parents their children differs from each parent to each individual child. While we may all have cultural resemblances to each other, I know that my experience was unique and one of a kind. My parents may have urged me towards financial stability but they instilled unparalleled values of discipline, curiosity, and virtue. Don’t get me wrong, I had my fair share of teenage angst and frustration towards cultural differences. It’s easy to blame parents for things we may be unhappy with for ourselves until we’re able to be at a position similar to them and then it dawns on us – they were right all along. The realization occurs later than desired but if we’re able to shift our mindset from negative to positive, frustration to gratitude, anger to acceptance, then we can begin cherishing the time with one another as friends.
I’m able to see now how:
It is due to their belief in hard work and perseverance that I am able to run marathons.
It is due to their unloved passion and desire to improve themselves that I LOVE learning. One doesn’t need to be a student to integrate forms of obtaining knowledge into their life.
And it’s virtue they have taught me through family, faith, and fortitude encompasses me with hope and care for myself, others, and this world.
There aren’t enough words to express my gratitude. Realizing that despite harder times in life, my values still remain within me, I know that I will always find myself if I DIG DEEP (The Gifts of Imperfection). This post is a small token of appreciation towards the amount of love and gratitude I have for my parents. I’m so fortunate to be able to live close enough to spend quality time with you but also celebrate both of your birthdays this month. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Sources:
Jay, Meg. The Defining Decade: 20: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now. Canongate, 2016.
BROWN, BRENE. GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION. VERMILION, 2020.
