Realizing that Success = Happiness and ≠ Money
In April of 2020, I took the Science of Wellbeing by Dr. Laurie Santos. It was a Yale course that was put on Coursera by popular demand. This class was a catalyst in my journey to Wholeheartedness but also it really made me realize my love for learning. It was in this class where I learned my signature strengths and recognized how flawed the mind truly was in what we perceive vs. feel. Her class pivoted my belief from success = money to success = happiness.
This wasn’t always my mindset, I chose Finance as my major so that I would be able to make a decent income right after graduation. In an EDLA (educational leadership course that was offered at LMU) course, I recall raising my hand for “money” when we were prompted to question what happiness was. My belief at the time was that with money came opportunities which in turn would lead to happiness. Part of this was the way I was raised to always ensure financial security and a scarcity mindset that came with money with that. This is definitely something that I’m struggling with but am certain that similar to understanding that happiness is the only sustainable to success, I will be able to embrace an abundance mindset with finances.
The following three months were spent cutting all of the noise that comes with society and it was made doable, and quite frankly easy, by the Pandemic. This was when I recognized the true value in my Non-Negotiables but also things that really do add joy to my day such as going on walks, spending time outside, avoiding screens, and reading. What came from these three months was truly unimaginable.
Then: My whole life I believed that I had intense ADHD, focus was just something not in the realm of my capacity. I could barely sit and do one thing until the end. It was so bad to the point that I was prescribed amphetamines by my PCP.
Now: After proper prioritization of sleeping, eating, and setting realistic goals my focus became razor sharp. I began having the capacity and ability to not just create plans and lists but cross items off when I said I would.
Then: I believed that I had a certain body type and wasn’t capable of reaching the goal weight I had wanted.
Now: After following a consistent workout routine and eating nutritiously (limited alcohol, consuming a wide variety of nutrients, and following a calorie deficit), I lost 30lbs in 3 months
Then: Professionally, I was lost. I was looking at positions/companies for all of the wrong reasons and felt overwhelmed at the amount of things to do.
Now: I reached out to people, connected with them and crafted a completely new career path of my own. I didn’t listen to the criticism that others expressed towards this risky move nor allowed people to let me think small. It’s this perseverance that didn’t stop me from taking three courses and the GRE while I worked full time and applied for graduate school. Without the courses that showed my desire to learn and ability to excel academically, , I might not have been accepted to Teachers College at Columbia University.
Then: People pleasing was my identity for as long as I’ve known, add in some codependent behaviors that came as a result and I was so unable to know who I was or what I wanted to do
Now: I began to see the light in the notion that your past doesn’t equal your future and began to go to therapy to start the work towards the skeletons in my closet #normalizetherapy. Finally, after 24 years, I began recognizing not only who I was but what I wanted to do. It was like seeing an island after being lost at sea for as long as you can remember. It was the path of forgoing ‘fitting in’ and embracing a Wholehearted lifestyle. My bff/fellow goalie, Sarina, describes this in a beautiful way as “being seen and heard in a room rather than being liked.”
Then: Finally, after toying with the idea of wanting to start a blog for what seems like an eternity I set aside my fears and decided to dive in
Now: Out came AWA (Affirmations with Avni). The name is a testament to the power of affirmations and living the intention that all limits are self-imposed. At the core of it all is the belief in yourself and even the doubts that consume my mind, I understand the gravity of impact that affirmations have in transforming my past, present, and future.
I find it fitting that I began this journey catalysed through the course of science and wellbeing. It’s these two pillars that I aspire to continue to uphold as I begin my next journey. It’s easy for me to list out the transformation but I can’t emphasize the journey behind each of these things enough. I truly believe that if I was destination focused, I wouldn’t have been able to reach these results in the sustainable manner that has come with a change in heart and mind. Without the pivot from money to happiness, I may still have been chasing the wrong career and battling some of the hardest limiting beliefs that may have kept me from applying to graduate school or having the courage to start this blog. This new philosophy will serve as the internal manifesto that will enable me to prioritize my wellbeing so that I can work towards bigger and bigger goals for the betterment of society. It all starts from my ability to take care of myself, especially as I embark the wilderness of my new journey post-Pandemic. Get ready for #AvniinNYC!
I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND DO
I AM ENOUGH THE WAY I AM
I AM LOVED DESPITE WHAT I DO OR DON’T DO
Sources:
Spielman, R. M., Dumper, K., Jenkins, W., Lacombe, A., Lovett, M., Perlmutter, M., & OpenStax College,. (2017). Psychology.
Santos, Laurie. The Science of Wellbeing. Apr. 2020. https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being
