How I Learned Minimalism and Saying ‘Enough’
For as long as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted more of everything. Just take a look at my endless pile of PINK yoga pants I once owned (I used to go to the mall every Thursday and called it ‘Mall Day’ – yes, I’m cringing too). It’s hard to not have this mindset when we’re all entrenched in the claws of capitalism. Yet what was inside my head was the limiting belief of not being good enough. I thought that by having more, I would achieve that ‘enough.’ And unfortunately it wasn’t until being stuck in a global pandemic, that I truly recognized the value of having less – financially, physically, and mentally.
Let’s begin with how minimizing saved my skin and my wallet:
I’ve had acne for as long as I can remember. I always followed the advice of doctors who told me that it would just go away in my twenties. Newsflash, my acne was the WORST it had ever been at 24 so no sir, it did not just ‘go away’ in my twenties. There was a period of time when I just gave up and decided that my only option was to apply high coverage make-up and load up on skincare products that promised an everlasting glow. I did the K-beauty 10-step routine, the specific research, the jade-rolling, and alllll the masking one could possibly do. And IT GOT WORSE. I had spent hundreds of dollars, had way too many items to fit in one medicine cabinet, and my self-esteem was at an all-time low.
I decided to seek professional help and found a great dermatologist. He was determined to focus on the root of the issue rather than these band-aid solutions that I had been slathering on. His plan of action: prevent the occurrence of any acne in the first place, so that the scarring, lesions and dark spots wouldn’t even have the option to be present. I went on medication and only used the most basic, ‘no-frills’ products that was good for my skin, without the price-tag.
Fast forward to now: I’m now going on THREE MONTHS without make-up! This includes my road-trip and socially distant, but still in public outings. My new routine is only 3 steps in the morning and 2 at night (YUP it’s possible). I cannot recommend consulting a dermatologist enough, because why do we insist on using TikTok and Google for skincare advice?
Throwing out my skincare products made me realize how important it was to challenge the way I had been mentally conditioned to live my life. It wasn’t necessary to continue buying things just because I had followed that pattern before and having the power to recognize this gave me the ability to be conscious about the spending on things that would yield sustained happiness.
When I took the Science of Wellbeing by Dr. Laurie Santos I learned about how when we purchase something, we do become happier, but the moment is fleeting. In fact, we feel more excited when we await the arrival of something we ordered than once we actually have it. Post-purchase, something called hedonic adaptation kicks in, which means getting used to something and having your reference point changed. It was one of those things that I knew but finally clicked in my mind. My whole life constituted of this - placing justification on purchasing things because they would make me feel better, going on trip after trip because it would make me feel happier, overbooking myself because I couldn’t bear the idea of not having ‘enough’ to do. This applies not only to material things but money (think wanting a higher salary after you’ve been making a certain amount), goal-setting (think achieving a goal and then feeling the need to create another that’s harder), and self-created perceptions (think believing that you’ll achieve happiness when you have something, someone, etc.) that are associated to going away with certain accomplishments.
Am I tossing out everything I own and vowing to never buy anything again? Of course not. But going forward, I’m going to try to be more conscious of my purchases by embracing the ‘enough’ mindset and asking myself the following?
Why do I want this?
Will this bring me sustained/long-term happiness?
What are the external implications of purchasing this item?
Is this purchase in-line with my values?
This practice allows me to replace my previous thoughts of “more” to “enough.” Not only does this apply to my purchases but it also contributes to debunking my limiting belief of not being good enough. I know that this feeling isn’t isolated to just me and for all the women reading this, we are more prone to this belief than men. Society has conditioned women to feel that they are not enough and what’s so interesting is that both men and women were born without these limiting beliefs. When we were babies, the only feelings we held towards ourselves were awe and unconditional love (Sonya Renee Taylor).
Studies have proven that having a de-cluttered space leads to a de-cluttered mind. The physical space I’ve gained from having less has directly contributed to a clearer mental space. And honestly the time you gain from having less (less clothes to fold, things to organize, etc.) is so stinkin’ worth it.
I AM GOOD ENOUGH
I HAVE ENOUGH
Sources:
Santos, Laurie. The Science of Wellbeing. Apr. 2020. https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being
Taylor, Sonya Renee. Body Is Not an Apology. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2021.
