The Realm of In-Between
In The Light We Carry, Michelle Obama describes the space in between things that can cultivate the most meaning and growth. She used this to describe her daughters in their lives as adults (Obama, 2022). It couldn’t be more representative of my life currently. It seems that the checklists are endless, goals in progress, and milestones pending. I’m trying my best to not take on new projects or make major career changes but still want to stay motivated to feel my best. The only constants in my life recently have been change and its polarizing nature.
The mid-twenties were the gateway to my well-being era and fastrack for my own personal intellectual renaissance. Stay tuned for what the late twenties will bring as it certainly has me embracing my age in a way I haven’t felt yet. Hangovers take multiple days, long runs send aches in my hips, and caffeine is losing its effectiveness. In some ways, I feel most connected to my childhood. Instances, where I belly, laugh like no other at funny IG reels, stopping mid-commute to experience awe at NYC, and feeling the metaphoric warmth of those who surround me. Maybe the late twenties are when I accept that controlling my life won’t result in its outcome and that what matters most aren’t my achievements and accolades but the relationships in my life.
First who, then what
This was my favorite takeaway from Jim Collins in Good to Great and it wasn’t just because I do think it is an indicative characteristic of successful organizations. It’s the people who led them to their success. This has become one of my guiding pillars at work after realizing my relational motivation for what I do. It won’t matter what I do as long as I’m working with people who want to help me grow professionally & personally. With that, I’m certain I’ll find a way to succeed. There are risks of choosing to embrace this ‘jack-of-all-trades’ persona, but its who I am at my core.
First who, then where
As much as I love NYC, I think I could be happy in a number of places as long as the people I love are near. I’m not sure where this will be as many of my friends who have turned into family are unsure of where they will be settling down, but it will certainly play a big role in my decision once I get to that point in my life. My immediate family lives in California and for the longest time, I thought that this would be where I would call my forever home but recently I haven’t been so sure. I find myself happiest in the energy that travel brings me and having the flexibility of a job where I’m able to work remotely, gives me the opportunity to hop on a flight and embrace the digital nomad lifestyle.
The missing who
The previous two takeaways were rooted in the people in my life being steady and everlasting. But what happens when the who is not in the picture yet? When it comes to romantic relationships, I’m not afraid to admit that this is the area in my life where I struggle most. I find it challenging to put my friends, travels, and routines second to the spontaneous nature that is required to find someone through the apps.
It’s hard to explain to friends who don’t feel similarly as I do about my freedom and independence. It’s challenging for me to feel true loneliness when my life feels so full. Regardless, I’m certain that my main takeaway for this is to remember that while I might not have my life partner, I do have myself and by channeling my energy into self-compassion and intentionality, I’m bound to find the right person. Whenever that might be.
As the leaves begin to change their color with Fall being right around the corner, I’m excited to experience this next phase of my life – the realm of in-between.
Sources:
Collins, J. C. (2001). Good to great. Random House Business.
Obama, M. (2022). The Light We Carry. Penguin.
